death takes a holiday
How do you tell people when someone in your immediate family has died? When you're feeling a low and they ask what's wrong - do you try to fake it and say nothing or answer truthfully and then you watch their face as it falls into appreciated but unwanted sympathy? My grandmother has died. Yesterday afternoon. Yes, on Valentine's Day. But death doesn't wait for holidays. My dad was with her, and it was time. She'd been going steadily downhill since the fall when she fell and broke her hip. I know the routine: it was expected, probably for the best, she's in a better place, and other such phrases that are as trite as they are true. As a friend put it, "that doesn't make it any easier when it actually happens". And that's true, too.
I'm writing about it here because I feel like I need to do something. Get it out somehow. And you all can sympathize as much as you want, but not to me. I don't want anyone to write and say "I'm sorry". I know you are, and I am much obliged, but that's all I want. I'm fine just knowing. I've even disabled the comments on this post because I'd just as soon not have any.
Like any person, my grandmother had good and not-so-good qualities. In general, however, she was a fine person and overall had a lovely life of 90 years. How many people are that lucky? My favorite picture, and one that I often remember when I think of my grandparents is one taken on their honeymoon. My grandmother was a "looker" and my grandfather was pretty handsome himself. They're skiing, and they look so young and happy. I think that my sister has the picture; I'll have to get a copy.
The one thing that I would have liked to have inherited from her was her voice; she sang in the a cappella choir, whereas I'm lucky if I don't scare the dogs.
