she's the worst kind

For some people, when they've been given negative news, they dig in and are motivated to do better. Me, I crawl home, find comfort in food and want to take a nap, operating under the vain hope that when I wake up, everything will be okay. Where I get this idea, I have no clue because nothing's ever disappeared overnight.

I would like to be motivated. I have always had a difficult time motivating myself. I want to learn languages, but without classes, even with books and tapes and all, I do very little on my own. It's hard and takes time and it doesn't come easy to me so I don't do it. I want to lose 10 pounds, but that requires getting up early and working out and effort. I want to become more knowledgable in my work and wow my management, but that involves reading and studying and that's boring. So many people around me are talented and gifted and do things with unconscious ease and grace and effortlessly (no really, they do; this isn't just an impression) that I feel like I should be able to do it, too. But I don't have a photographic memory, things don't come that easily to me, I don't have a natural self-confidence like my coworkers.

I need to find motivation. And fast.